Imbolc:season of the Youthful Crone

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Often we find ourselves taking this time of year for granted. It’s after the hubb-bub of the holidays, often we take a step back and are just glad we made it through the chaos of dinners,family,and gift giving. So when good ol’ january gets here…then febuary we forget to enjoy this season of quiet. Its in this time that we can recharge and recoup. But all too often folks dread this season. I suppose its the lack of light or the lack of perceptible life. But in truth, i think, its the fact that we are no longer distracted from the face in the mirror. No pretty flowers,or errands to do, no lawns to mow or picnics to be had…just that face staring back at you.

 

   So what do we do? We get depressed and we waste time. But my dear witches, and pagans, this season is very important this is the season of, what i call, the Youthful Crone. this is the time of wisdom in potentia. it is not in the movement that dance is beautiful, its in the open spaces between motion. Its only after darkness that light has meanings,life has purpose only when faced with death. So how do we harness this raw potential? Personal spiritual journeys AKA crossing the hedge and preparing ourselves for the coming year of magical work and spiritual travel.

 

  Traditionally this time of year new witches were initiated and new tools are dedicated. At this time of year i go through several little rituals all leading up too Imbolc. The first is i clean my home physically. Yup witchcraft involves house work! Everything gets done right down to alphabetizing my books. Once thats done (and it takes a while my house is as messy as my mind) it all gets cleansed spiritually. I start at the backside of my home in the eastern most corner, and in a clockwise direction, i smudge the house. Ah did i mention all the windows and doors need to be open? I didn’t did i…sorry yes every things gotta be open. The old year has to be allowed to flee. Now i smudge the entire house. Then i aspirge it with salted water. So now we hit it up with all the “classical” elements. Finally we bless the house, close all the doors and windows and on each one you anoint it with either blessing oil, or olive oil thats been prayed over. Personally i place a few runes on each door and window but hey, do whats right for you.

 

   Next i need to recharge,or make new wards for the house. For those unaware, Wards are magical barriers for you or your home. A witch’s bottle is a type of ward spell. Personally i dont use witch bottles. Just never have…i think the idea of pissing in a bottle bothers me. I use an old hill folk ward, because it makes sense to me from a scientific perspective. Get yourself 4 old rail road spikes and drive them into the four corners of your property. Railroad spikes are made of Iron…just plain ol’ iron. Iron grounds out any negativity, be it a spell or otherwise, directed at your home. So each year i pull them up, rebless them,charge them and plant’em again.

 

  Now finally i cleanse,bless,and dedicated my ritual tools. And each year i rededicated myself too the witching way. How each witch does this is their own business and is as privet, i feel, as a lover announcing their love for the first time. I also create new charms or items to be used for charms at this time of year.

 

  For those who read my blog often, you’ll know i had a child last year. She was Born Sept. 29,2013 and was 6lb 15 ounces. She is growing fast and a handful. But if i can manage it i will be tring to blog a bit more specific details on said charms and hopefully, leading up too Imbolc, i will post my personal Imbolc ritual.

in theory this is the order of the blogs:

spinning the web, using thread spinning in magic

Wards, how they work, what they are

Intoning: your voice in magic

Imbolc: Ritual too the Cailleach

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Presenting Miss Autumn Rose

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Realm of Land: Veneration of The Genus Loci

For the next few posts i plan to do a series of posts about the celtic realms of Land, Sea,and Sky. These posts with largely be workings to honor spirits specific to each area. At some point i may, in the future, write a bit about their shamanic significance. But for now i wanted to start with some basics. What follows is a working to venerate or honor the Genius Loci, or Land Spirit of a specific area.

The Genius Loci is the spirit of a specific area,even cityscapes have some genius loci in them. This spirit will watch over the area and the spirits that reside within it. They are the Guardians of the area and can be a great ally too the practitioner.

This process or ritual is intended to be used on a regular bases to build a relationship with this entity.  The benefits of doing the work is many fold, including helping the practitioner to come to understand, in a more personal way, the symbiosis between man and nature. As well as learning the locations of power spots or Faery Gates in the area,being able to ask favors or petitions of the Land Spirit, and creating a power location for personal spiritual work.

I strongly suggest you not petition the land spirits for anything until you have established a firm relationship with them.

What you will need for the working:

  • 1 red candle
  • Bread (please remember this is an offering too someone, quality DOES matter)
  • Wine,beer,or other spirits again quality
  • any bobbles you may wish to also offer
  • bell,whistle,or drum

For this rite you will not be casting a circle, so you do need to be mindful of the area you have chosen. If an area feels hostile or negative its a good bet its not a land spirit interested in your company. Thus do not choose to do this working there. I would suggest starting with the Genius Loci near your home. Look for some thing distinctive in the landscape. Often that is where you will make the strongest first connection with the spirit. Once you have found your location you may proceed as follows:

Facing north, place the candle in the middle of your work space, bread to the north of the candle,wine to the west,bell to the east, and finally, you set in the south. If you wish at this point you may walk in a widdershin direction around your work space 3,6,or 9 times. This will help you create a stronger connection with the Unseen spaces. Think of it as cranking on an old Graham Bell telephone.

Settle down before your altar, setting in the south facing north,close your eyes and experience the sounds,smells, and sensations of the area. Try to sense the spirit here. When you are calm and centered and have fully awakened your senses too your surroundings; take up your bell or other instrument and ring it. As you do you must KNOW that this sound rings forth into the Otherworld across the Veil and is heard by the Genius Loci.

Now light the red candle saying something to the effect of:

“I kindle this flame

as a beacon into the unseen places.

I draw the eye of the Spirit of this Land.

A sworn child of the Mother,

who wishes only to honor you.”

Hopefully, if all goes well straight out of the gate, you could get some sort of response here. Be patient and above all, observant. It will be subtle a branch moving oddly, an animal that looks at you in an uncanny manner. If nothing happens, do not fear, it may not for several workings. Just continue on with the work. However, if a feeling of panic, or hostility comes over you, pack it in sister! You’re being told to shove off. But lets say all goes well.

Next hold your hand over the bread and say something to the effect of:

“Here is the bread of life,the nourishment of the Earth

As it gives life too me

i offer of it too you

I consecrate it in honor too the spirits of this land.”

Take a small bit of the bread and say “May we never hunger”

Next take up the cup of wine and say some thing too the effect of:

“Here is the cup of Mater Sangreal

The blood of the Mother

The blood of abundance

I consecrate it in honor of you the land spirits.”

Take a sip of the wine and say “may we never thirst.”

Now you have a few options here, you may place the bread and wine in a hole you have dug, or a bowl,or place the bread in the cup then poor it out as you speak. However you choose to do it bring the two together and say something to the effect of:

“As i have taken,

So this is given

Shared in honor

as one who is of the family of the Old Gods

with the Spirits of the Land.

I give it to the Ground

I give it to the Genius Loci

That the seen and unseen people

and spirits may be made whole

again and live in peace.

For behold,what is taken is truly given,

and what is given is truly taken.

So be it.”

(by the by the line what is taken is truly given and what is given is truly taken is from Robin Artissons book The Witching Way of the Hollow Hill please check it out for more workings and prose )

From here you may leave any other offerings you have thank the spirits and leave your offering of bread and wine on the earth as the invocation suggests. Tahda! you just honored a Genius Loci…now keep doing so! Come back and keep the area clean, feed the animals, do this working again at least once a month. Eventually very interesting things will happen if you allow your self to have the eyes to see and the ears to hear.

and now a few resources:

ge·ni·us lo·ci (j n – s l s , -k , -k ). n. 1. The distinctive atmosphere or pervading spirit of a place. 2. The guardian deity of a place.

In The Dark, He Waits

In my last post i mentioned having had direct contact with the Horned Hunter. I thought it might interest you, dear reader, if i told you my story.  Firstly, i have had an attraction too the Horned One for many years. All that wild untamed primal energy, that deep guttural need to run at break-neck speeds through the forest. Never sure if you are the hunted or the hunter. Deep forests covered in fern and moss, where you know a Primal Force resides both hunting you and being hunted by you….

 

My first contact,direct contact at least, came about two years ago. It was in a dream. In my dream i was called in to remove the workings of another witch on a few objects. I did so in the dream and was paid for my efforts, on my walk home, under an old oak tree, i see on the group two pendants. One is of the greenman and one is of the Horned Hunter. I looked at them both but only felt drawn to the Horned one so i picked it up and put it in my pocket quiet happy with my find.  Several minutes later, now at home, i pull the pendant from my pocket and find it has become a sort of leather talisman with an elaborate image of the Horned Hunter on it!

 

From there on i felt i had been chosen, i was given a choice between two aspects of Him and i had chosen, or been chosen, my the Horned Hunter. Now mind you i wasn’t positive, how can one be at first really, but i figured if it was so further information or contact would be made. I wasn’t wrong either, a few weeks later i was in the woods just climbing about, as i tend to do when not heavy with a baby,and i felt pulled in a specific direction. It was northways if i remember correctly. I ended up sliding down the side of an ozark hill, almost right off into a creek. But when i got down there i looked to my right and saw a deer staring at me.

 

I held my breath hoping it wouldn’t run, eventually it did walk away calmly and when i headed in that direction, at my feet was a stang…just laying there ready for me to clean it up and make use of it. A Stang is a forked staff used in some forms of witchcraft to represent, well several things, but primarily the Horned God or the Witchmaster. I’ve been looking for a good one for nigh on 10 years. She, don’t ask me why but it is a she, has since been my constant companion. With that i well and firmly felt His presents in my life.

 

Now too my story proper! My i’m long winded today! I won’t revel too much about the induction into my hearth, luckily this event takes place before hand. It was a cold night in early November and i, with my fellow inductees, stood waiting for our ritual to begin sequestered off in a small area just at the edges of a forest and a creek. Between and Betwixed so to speak. I already knew that this was an in between place where we stood, though i doubt that is why the area was chosen.  I stood staring off into the stars for several moments just enjoying the night air,stang in hand. Suddenly i felt i was being watched and pulled into the woods before me.

 

When i looked down i saw…something…a shadow darker than the rest of the woods. Then it moved, and i could see Him is massive horns swayed on his head as he stood up from a crouched position. I felt the urge to both run towards him and run from him in fear and just shear overwhelming power. I could feel him look at me even though he was only in silloet. I looked to the women at my right and left and they obviously saw nothing. But He was still there when i looked back and there he remained for several minutes until we were called back for our ritual to begin.

 

Seeing Him that night, with my own eyes, has left an impression on me like no other. I have felt Divine Forces before, but none like this. I saw him yet again at our ritual retreat the following spring….same location…and again only i saw Him. Perhaps im mad…or perhaps its just me He wishes to see Him….

 

 

Embrace Your Hag Under The Full Moon

ImageIt has been far longer than i had realized, since last i posted here. I’m sure you all thought this blog was dead! For a time i suppose it was. Since last i posted i was inducted into the Daughters of the Sacred Grail, a women’s Avalonian group. During which i had a vision of the Horned Hunter.  And earlier this year my partner and i were able to conceive a little girl. As i write i am 8 months and one week pregnant.

  However, today i’m not here to write about my little one (you’d be surprised but one does get tired of talking about their   spawnling) During this period i took off from the blog, i began to study the “Bee Mysteries” so to speak. The past is full of priestesses who were devotees of Bee Goddesses. The topic has interested me every since seeing the remake of The Wickerman. But as of late my path has been heading in a totally different, or rather parallel, direction too Bee Priestesshood. This has left me a bit lost and confused. I kept receiving indicators,messages if you will, on a totally different wavelength.

  My road seems to be dipping down below the normal road of service and ritual. Deep down into the darkness of the Unseen places.

You take the high road,

and I’ll take the low road…

I was and am being lead down the low road. Or at least the Low Road has been made available for my travel. But, again this left me confused and a tad disappointed in my self. I have been championing the Bee Path for over a year now, and it seems to not be part of this new direction…or old direction depending on how i look at it.

  So, in hopes of divining where i’m going with all this, the past few full moons i’ve been working to figure this out in the Otherworld. All things start there and eventually manifest here, so it the best place to get direct answers. Last months whilst on the Holy Isle i became and old woman. A Hag in looks. I was shown an owl and a young child playing in a garden. I filed these things away for safe keeping in my mind.

 

  Still not satisfied, this month i sought out Dame Ragnell Her self. The Lady Ragnell and i have a history together. I assume, since she seeks me out in this world and the Other, that she is my Matron goddess. Last night i sought her under the hill in Glastonbury. Deep down in the widdershin world. The Horned Hunter ushered me to the Otherworld in his barge small white candles hanging from the tines of his deer horns. He asked me what i came to seek and i told him three times. He simply nodded and offered me his hand then helped me off the barge on the other side.

 

  From there i made my way,with purpose, too the Tor ImageAt the top I found a sort of trap door that i entered and began my decent via widdershin stares. Once i reach the bottom waiting for me was Dame Ragnell with her stark white hair and ancient face. I sat before her and watched her gnarled old hands spin her hair into thread on a bottom whirl drop spindle.

 

  In short order i told her of my trials, of my worry over the Bee Path, and not understanding the direction i’m going. She listened, but only grunted now and then to indicate her listing, or perhaps to punctuate something i was not grasping. When i was spent and had said everything i could think to say, she looked up from her spindle into my eyes. Again, as in times before, Her face would flash from old and ugly to vibrant and beautiful in a puff of smoke. Her eyes turning from beady and black to bright blue.

 

  For several seconds she just looked at me. Finally she grabbed my arm and simply said

Embrace your Hag

 

Then the spindle in Her hand shrank a little and became silver. She handed it to me and cackled out (very much like a raven or crow)

 

You’re symbol

 

I put the spindle in my Crane Bag and when i looked up She was gone…

 

  Do i know for sure what these things mean? I’m not positive, but i have a good idea. Reflecting back on my phraseology when telling Her of my worries, yes i think i understand her answer. My path is simplistically complicated. I have been looking at the parts and not the underlying current. My road is that of service, but i will always be beside and underneath what most people see. Mine is the way of the old Owlfolk, walker between places. What does this mean for the whole Bee Priestesshood, i’m not yet sure. But at least now i know where North is.

 

Why Take The Journey?

We as a society are often told not too talk about certain things.  A lot of times things such as abuse,self loathing,rape,and fear  are  put on the list of “inappropriate” conversation topics. Especially if they happened too you. Propriety dictates what is “healthy” conversation. It is unfortunate because often just being able to talk about these things can heal even the deepest emotional and spiritual wound.  And so dear reader, you know why i post here. To heal and to challenge the boundaries of “propriety”.

 

In my previous journey post, i asked for healing. My goal for some time now has been healing. You see my darlings, i know that i have a Soul Shard. Several years ago my life was in a terrible state of turmoil. I had been in a state of spiritual crisis for some time and then to add too that i lost my home,my mate, and my friends all in one fell swoop. I had been in such an emotional state that when the final blow was struck i felt something break inside me… If it  had a physical sound i suspect it sounded a bit like glass breaking mixed with a piano string snapping…

 

From that moment forward i didn’t feel like i should. My emotions felt muted, and in some cases gone entirely. It was kind of nice to function is a numb fog.  However,one can only function that way so long and i did return too my roots and start working things out. I was significantly better until 2011. My home was struck by the first EF6 tornado on record and not three days before my father in law had a massive stroke and fell into a coma. Not long after that my mother was diagnose with stage 2 breast cancer…and it went on and on like that.

 

Now i realise ive slipped back into a numb state, and ive started working forward to help find my Soul Shard and retrieve it.  I’m sure some of you may wonder what a Soul SHard is. Its a shamanic concept… and one that modern science, even if it wont admit it, and found as well. When a deeply traumatic event takes place in a person’s life a part of them self seems to shatter and fall away. Thar shard is a part of the soul that has removed it self because of the stress and trauma of the event. That part can almost become autonomous too the rest of the soul. unfortunately this can cause the whole to no longer function correctly. Emotional and mental issues will manifest and eventually can start to case physical health problems.

 

The foremost job of a Shaman(druid,witch wisewoman etc..) in these cases is to search the other world for the shard and reconcile the too parts.  It’s not easy…often the shard will hide and resist. Now i am at that state, finding the shard. Where have i gone? I have found when i am on the other side i am that which is my purest form. Who i am at my core… Not what the world wishes to see, not even what my Mate chooses to see…Me that which is a fragment of the Divine.

 

So on my latest journey here is the progress i made:

I found my self walking down a wooded path, hand in hand with a Shadow. It was smoke like and in the shape of a humanoid. I could tell neither gender nor race only that it was human shaped and meant me no harm.  It walked with me until i reached the shores of the Lake where Barinthus met me in the Barge. Again he was sandy blonde with medium sized dear horns and blue woad tattoos on his face.

 

But this time there was a priestess in the barge with him.  She was silent and he hood was pulled down so i could only see her nose and mouth. She helped me onto the barge without a word. The Shadow stayed on the banks of the lake, as far as i can tell.  From there i sailed too the shores of Avalon and was dropped off there. I made my way through the fields in their final state of harvest. The tools of harvest were brought too my attention and we were instructed to think on what we wished to cut away and what we wished to harvest.

 

Sacrifice and harvest…the same and yet different depending on what side of the fence you are on…

 

Finally i reached the Tor and sat down to consider what it was i was doing here. I was here, again seeking my whole self. I took stock of who i was in this place. I was older, but only slightly.  My hair had stones and feathers hanging in it. I wore the cloths of a Primal Shamaness. I wore a dear skin tunic and a robe of cotton below it. I carried my stang, but she had been completed (ill post pictures when i make manifest her true form here in this world) and i felt who i was. My truest self. And i knew what i needed to ask the Goddess:

How do i bring my truest self into the physical world?

With that a door down into the Mound opened and i followed the steps counter clockwise down…down…down into the hearth.

Whenever i am here i can hear a deep vibrating heart beat…The air throbs with it. The room is medium size and down the center runs a stream like an aqueduct. Small torches on the wall light the area enough to see.  In the back of the room sat a women on a primitive bench.

 

Her hair was white and her clothing simple. As i stepped closer i could see she was spinning her own hair on a spindle.

 

 

I Approached this goddess knowing exactly who she was, she was Ragnell the Arthurian face of of the Owlwoman.  i kneeled before her and she leaned down to be almost nose too nose with me. As i watched her face is was as if smoke would curl over and around her and as it passed her face would change from old and hag like to young and beautiful and back again. i said too her:

Sister, how do i bring my truest self into the world? How to i manifest this self in my everyday life?

Her serine face smiled and she said too me:

Spin the Thread

Weave the Web

Dream the Dream

Remember the Raven (at this point the image of a raven holding a small smooth stone passed through my mind)

See the Owl

Weave the Dream

Make it happen.

With that i stood and walked back too the stairs, i thanked Ragnell and in a shimmer of gold light made my way up…up…up…and out…back into my body…

Being Claimed By The Goddess

Blue Moon Of August 2012

The Moon,face of the Goddess.

Way Back when i first started this blog i told you of a dream i had where in the Goddess claimed me as her daughter. I told you i would eventually give you full details of this dream…and totally forgot to do so!

 

So my dears, read on to get the full account of that dream….

 

It is a summer day in some wilderness retreat. My friends,family,and acquaintances are celebrating a pagan holiday and i am walking side by side with the OldWoman face of the Goddess.She has a warm grandmotherly feel too her with a keen edge. She wears layers upon layers of grey and black shawls and skirts. Her hair is grey and somewhat mattyand her eyes are black and tinkly like a ravens. We chitchat and laugh together, mostly amused that all these people are here celebrating a pagan holy day and have no idea they are doing so! For several moments we talk and enjoy each others company when suddenly she turns serious. This whole time she has been leading me into the back of a pavilion. The back of it is hidden from the rest of the scene. Once we are there she turns to me, looks me in the eyes and takes my left hand.

 

I feel her draw something on the palm of my hand as she says, “I name you the witch…” and she gives me a name. i would have thought this was a name from my cultural interests…but it wasnt its a name from India and it means “black beauty” or “beautiful night”….

 

So, there you go…how i was claimed by the Goddess….

A Blue Moon Journey To Avalon

Tonight i sought the shores of avalon on my own for the first time in a long time. Ive been working on personal wounds a great deal as of late…and felt it was time to seek the blessings of the Nine Maidens of avalon.This was a meditation i constructed during reading Healing the Wounded King.

I began my journey by following the full moon ritual structure of my hearth Daughters of The Grail and at the point when an Immrama is to take place i began mine. From here i will document what transpired on the otherside:

 

I stood upon the shores of the lake, mist was all around me and i wore a long heavy, very wet, robe. It trailed behind me several feet and almost seemed to grab onto the ground as i passed back and forth. I walked considering why i was here. What was it i really was seeking. I felt my emotions rolling in side me like the waves of the ocean. After several moments of self doubt i turned to the shore and threw up my arms. As i did so i shouted;

Barinthus! I seek healing!

Not long after that the Mists parted and i saw the Barge coming through. I saw the Horned Boatman standing upon it, silhouetted by the Large Full Moon behind him. As the barge scrapped to a stop on the shores i stepped forward to it, as i did the outer most layer of my robe, the longest and heaviest, fell from my shoulders and hit the ground is a sort of “slop” sound.

 

Barinthus help out his hand to me, his face was painted in many blue swirling colors and a reddish brown beard covered most of his jaw line. Upon his head were deer antlers, i wasnt able to see if they grew there or if they were held on by some thing. I stepped onto the barge and took my place at the front of the ship. I now stood in a smaller, but still heavy outer robe and below it a slight and airy white robe. We made our way across the lake, the ride was totally silent save for my breathing.

 

Landing upon the shores i stepped off and was greeted by a much younger than normal version of my Guide. She appeared in her early teens if that and she smiled ear too ear and grabbed my hand. We took off running at break neck speeds, or rather she did. For some reason i dug my heals in and didnt want to run. I kep repeating that she was going to fast, slow down, why are we running!? by she just giggled and kept pulling. Her smile was warm, almost literally like the sun.

 

Finally we reached the orchard and she seemed to give up or i did one or the other, because i lost my grip on her hand and she kept running. I stopped and gaped after her, i had no idea where i was or how to find the Nine Sisters…i had expected her to guide me…thats what guides do right!? So i found my tree and slumped too the ground her Her base. I sat there scared,lonely and unsure of what to do next…

 

It seemed like forever passed as i sat there feeling sorry for my self and thinking my self an idiot for letting go of her hand when i looked up to my self and thought,

Well if all else failes…go moonwise

so i got up and went around the Mound in a moonwise direction. It felt like it didnt take long yet it must have…when finally i came to the Red Spring…save for..now there was a sort of large stone platform next too it with a huge boiling cauldron on it…and nine women standing around it… Three in white were dipping into the red spring and pouring water into the cauldron, three in red where tending and stiring the cauldron and nine in black were dipping water out of the cauldron and pouring it on the ground.

 

I knew i had found them. The Nine Sister of Avalon stood before me…and i was just a bit nervous(ok a lot nervous) what the hell had i come here for? i didnt specifically know why i just knew i needed healing… shortly the lady in red at the center, stiring the large cauldron looked me square in the eyes. As she spoke, all nine women spoke with her.

What do you seek?

i sort of stuttered our

I seek to be whole!

holy hell! where did that come from….what…yeah thats true that is why i came here. suddenly it was like i had always known that but just didnt think of it that way… the Nine women said;

How will you be whole?

like im supposta know that!? right? thaats why i came here i need them to tell me what to do….right? But like a fountain bubbling forth i sputter out:

Through compassion

wait…what? ok….and again i think to my self…well duh. but again i am left to ask my self…compassion for whom? my assumption currently is self and the world.

the nine say to me:

Then come forth and be ye healed.

I feel my self becoming lighter as my robes fall too my feet my whole body is so light i drift from the ground. I see the center most Mother dip a large chalice into the cauldron and as she lifts it up i drift forward almost nose too nose with her and sip from the cup. Its like an adrenalin shot almost. I feel the liquid tingle all over my body as i swallow it. It invigorates my whole being.

The Nine speak again a farewell i hear it only a little through the buzzing in my ears as i drift further away back into my body.

Like Phases of the Moon Are We

Its at this time of year i often loose my self in in inner work and personal….spiritual work…I want to say evolution, but i think that is more hopful termenology that realistic. Its in the fall,the winter,the dark that i journey within and try my best to, yet again, to root out my personal spirit shards…and try to assimilate them into the whole.

 

I’ve done this for a great many years, and its only now in my 31st year of life that i feel i am making any sort of progress. I sat watching a movie tonight with my family,so to speak, my mate and a very close shaman friend of ours, and a thought popped into my head:

It is only after we have learned to Love who we Are, that we can learn to love who we Will be and who we Have been.

We are changing beings, who we have been is not who we are now nor is it who we will be in the future. Its not so much as be evolve as we change. we are ever the same being, but in different stages of thought,progress,and growth. like phases of the moon we are ever our selves and ever changing. we wax into our selves we see the far off Mysteries as if they stand right before us and then we wane into our selves and the mysteries become of less importance… and yet…then we flip we spiral back on our selves…like the carvings upon a monolith…we wax again into full life and the mysteries almost disappear…then we wane and the mysteries are all thats important…all that’s left to attain in a world all about physical manifestations.

 

its at this time of year i stop…look within the cauldron of life and ask;”Who am i?” because really thats the question that leads too all the others…that is the root question. who are you…who are you really beyond what your family taught you, beyond what society taught you, who are you in the depths of your authentic primal self?

 

Spirit,Owl,Bee they have been talking and trying to help me find that primal self..the first self…but some times its scary to look. Do we take the red thread handed too you upon the breeze..leave normal society behind live by our own rules and possibly be labeled a nutcase…or do we turn it away and remain “normal” accepted and “safe”? do we open our selves to the Divine insanity…or maintain what little sanity we have?

 

ecstasy or sanity…to some it would be a simple choice, in either direction! but to me its not. do i fit in, even in my own odd nitch, or accept that i can’t that im not meant to, and take the shamans road…that is what i will be working on in this dark season…find my skeletons befriend them then ask their advise…

The Bards Road

The Bards Paths

 

 

For as far back as I can remember the written words has laid down for me like a lover. Be it spoken or written, I have been told I can paint a picture with my words. Which I find funny, considering I am dyslexic and couldn’t spell to save my life! Thank the Goddess for spell check! That aside, I love to write and ritual crafting is one of my favorite religious devotions. This was also one of the major tasks of the Bardic druid, as well as being the keepers of our history, some thing I also have a passion for.

 

However this post is not one for me to brag about my writing skills or love for history. Its a post for me to explain to you, dear reader, how you may know when you have hit the mark with ritual words as well as how to invoke inspiration to be able to find those words.

 

Firstly,forever every thing your english teachers ever told you. No seriously…forget it… ritual poetry doesn’t follow rules. It follows the flow of energies.So your poems may be in couplets…it maybe almost haiku like, or it may just rhyme a little. Or it may do none of these. Second, don’t think you need to be setting at your altar at home in a trance to get inspiration. Spiritual inspiration comes from any where. I get some of my best chants while driving home from work! Here is how you will know when the words are true, and have been given too you and not just made up in your head: When you think the words you will get chills or goose bumps. It will be like an electric wave over your body. There one second gone the next. When that happens, hang on too the words you’ve been given! They are important!

 

For me, often, in ritual I will be given words to speak. The experience is surreal and yet more real than any other moment in my life. I can feel that I seem to glow from the inside out. Like the moon has landed in my abdomen. And its almost like a TelePrompTer in my mind….words come to me and spill from my lips of their own volition. Sometimes I remember them, sometimes I don’t. But the feeling is always the same, like I want to giggle and speak at the same time, and I have a silvery light shining from my womb that lights up my entire body. My hair on my arms will stand on in and ill get chills all over my body.

 

When i’ve had the experience in circle with my hearth sisters I can feel a fine silver ribbon joining all the women in the circle and the current from my womb runs through it. I have often wondered if they are feeling what I am feeling at that same moment.

 

The most important thing to writing spiritual works is, trust your instincts. The Goddess IS speaking through your words.

Here is a small chant I wrote to help inspire you. I wrote it too the tune of A Mother’s Smile by the Judd’s I hope it helps your words flow true and pure as the Chalice Well’s waters.

 

 

Sacred Mother

Hear your daughter

Setting at your loom.

 

Fill my hands

O’ Mother

With inspirations

with Awen.

 

Sacred Mother

Hear your daughter

setting at your aisle.

 

Fill my mind

O’ Mother

with inspiration

with Fire in My Head.

 

Sacred Mother

Hear your daughter

setting at your altar.

 

Fill my heart

O’ Mother

With your love.

Benidithion Affalon

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Spirit of Owl Speaks Again

For almost a year i’ve been having trouble exercising, eating well, and really taking care of my self. I have a hard time doing the things i love and staying in touch with Spirit. But over the past few days ive been working hard to take better care of my self and yesterday was my first day jogging on a nature trail near my home. Now i really wish i had some pictures i had taken for you but its hard to jog and hold a big camera at the same time! hehe.

 

However, i can describe for you some of the events of my trip. I view my jogging time as an oportunity to meditate and speak with the Spirits and the Gods. So whilst i was jogging i told Owl,

“Owl, i’ve always wanted one of your feathers. some thing to connect me with you….”

Owl in Her owlish way said nothing at the time. but i knew she hear me. she always does… Long about now i was considering the fact that when i was healthier and in better shape visions and spiritual interactions came easier for me. it was just as normal and real for me as everyday conversations are for everyone else. As ive moved from my healthier ways and my body has suffered that connection has dwindles as well. So i asked my self… what can i do to help this connection be reinvigorated.

 

Perhaps….i could jog daily….*Caw!* i hear…above me is a raven in the trees some place…

 

i moved on…Perhaps i could start eating only organic unprocessed foods…*Caw!* again the ravens above me call….

 

i stop in the trail and look up. I can’t see any ravens but i can hear their wings…i just smile too my self and think thats Raven being Raven mischievous from the get go. So i walk on and think maybe i should give up liqour….

 

*CAW*

ok…i think Raven is listening and speaking to me! At that point i just move on and continue my walk…i thank Raven for listening and giving me her feed back and ask the Goddess that she helps me stick too my goals…and i ask my self what will i do to reward my self today that doesn’t involve food (i’ve become addicted as of late to food…i use food for my comfort,my lover,my friend every thing… i get bord i eat, i get upset i eat…ect…) but nothing comes to mind…

 

At the end of my walk…what do i find at the end of my trail right at the mouth of the woods? A raven feather… setting neat as you please right on the leaves of a may apple….There was my reward…ive been collecting raven feathers for years, but hadnt found one in over a year!

 

Now fast forward too today….

Normally when i get off work im beat…and it takes me several hours of personal flagulations to get my butt off my bed and out too the track. Today i went straight from the hospital i work at too thepark i jog at. But today i decided to find a different trail in the park to jog on. My second lap…low and behold right in the middle of my walk way, is a owl feather for a barn owl!

Image

 

ill try to post a picture of the feather. im totally positive its from them…its looks too be a chest or back feather not one from the wings or tail. I’m greatful for it either way 🙂