The Second Sight: Not What You Think

At this time of the Dark Moon, traditionally a time of inner magic, i would like to talk about the second sight.  I grew up in a gifted family. All the women on my mother’s side have the Sight. My mom often spoke of seeing spirits as if they were right there infront of her. My grandmother was often consulted for good “advice”. For many years i thought, perhaps, there was some thing wrong with my Sight, because i didn’t see things as if they were right there in front of me.

My anxiety became worse as i read books about the occult, wicca, witchcraft and the like. These authors wrote as if they saw things with their very eyes! In a literal fashion. Me, i saw things… best as i can describe it, behind my eyes. It really feels as though i am seeing with the backside of my eyes.  As the years passed, however, i began to realize that, no matter how i was seeing, what i was seeing was real. My first real experiance with the Sight, and witchcraft as a matter of fact, came when i was about 7 or 8 years old.

My family moved in with my Aunt and Uncle in a 200 year old mansion in Grand Rapids Michigan.  The plan was for my dad to swoop in for the save in my Uncles failing company. My Aunt had a penchant for hopeless old homes. Now i don’t blame her i love older homes, but this one was practically unsaveable for some one of our means.  The first time we walked through it, i knew some thing was…off. I had been instructed by my mother how to handle unwanted spiritual entities. Don’t fear them and you give them no power, but at 7 years old, thats kinda hard to do.

The house its self was dilapidated to the point of almost falling in in some areas. There was a whole in the roof big enough to drop an elephant through. Half the walls were cracked like the house of Usher, and the coal heaters  hadn’t worked in almost a century.  As my mom and i walked through, one of the first things i saw was a poppet half burned in the fireplace. (i was young but not stupid i knew a “voodoo doll” when i saw one) at 7, yea that creeped me out!

Later, in the attic we found a witches ladder, and the most frightening thing was the, as ive dubbed it, “coven room” in the basement. In this room there were shackles on the walls (real ones folks) blood on the floors and a whole pile of bones in the fire place. On one walls was a Baphomet poster and in the center of the room a large cauldron. Now with the knowledge i have now, i would have swipped these items for my own, but at 7 my Sight was going nuts. I could feel that these people hadn’t known half of what they thought they did.

They opened some thing and never closed it. I saw shadow people in this place all the time. I would hear laughter and crying in various rooms. I had a man whisper in my ear and would smell food cooking when there was none. This place was my Sight baptism by fire.  I also think it was in this place that i first began to feel a kinship with witchcraft.

But my anxiety was not over, after a few years of practicing wicca i began to be drawn to hedgewitchery. I wanted to learn to cross the hedge or the barrier between our world and the various spiritual realms. As i read books on the topic, and some websites, people spoke as if they were almost physically interacting with other wordly beings. When i tried to cross i found that it was very much like lucid dreaming for me. i was still somewhat aware of the world around me physically, but was also aware of a world within me.

I was constantly frustrated because i felt i wasnt fully immersing in the journey. I felt like i was failing some how. Until i started to actually speak with other real hedge witches. All bullshit aside, most shamans will tell you you will, for the most part, remain aware of the world around you. Though, as i had, you will fell almost drugged like you are aware of your body but not fully able to effect it. you’ll know you are crossed when things and people react in a manner you know you would not have thought of.

I also want to confirm for some out there, that those weird moments, when something pops in your head for seemingly no reason then boom it comes true. Yeah, that is the Sight. For instance, i once had an image of my ex husbands face pop in my head with an angery look and he was walking away from me. A few days later he was walking out my door to go see his mistress with that look on his face because we had had a fight. Trust those flashes and you will have them more and more often the more you trust them.

So in short this post is to help those who are shacky on the whole Sight things. You aren’t alone, just trust your guts and you’ll be on the right track.

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When Love Is Forgotten

Love has been on my mind as of late.  It reaches back to my previous post about not tricking our selves into thinking we are some one we aren’t. For a time love was scares for me. I was taught as a child love was some thing given to very few people in ones lives. Like it was a rare commodity that only so much of could be produced by any one person. I lived my life like that, yet part of me knew, instinctively, it was wrong. I can remember writing a paper for my lit. class about “Passionate Compassion”.

Many years later i read Healing Wise By Susun Weed and in there she talked about how love for others was an over flow, or surplus of love that one felt for them self. I never was able, at such a young and akward age, to grasp the idea. Years later, in a failing marraige and a life i hated, my heart went cold. It felt like a lump of wet coal in my chest.  And when my husband left the wet coal imploded and created a black whole. I felt nothing, one would be amazed but in truth love is the progenitor of all other emotions.  If you loose love, you loose likes, dislikes,anger,happiness even contentment.

It was at this point in my life, not 2 years ago, that i rejoined the Gods on my road of life. I looked at my self in the mirror one day and for all my solidness i seemed hollow. Empty,almost translucent. So i chose to look into meditations and self-esteem tools. One of them i found was a very simple buddhist meditations. It goes like this:

Set quietly in a nice locations (i sat infront of a primitive alter with one tiny kwan yin statue a horned one statue and a few candles and sage smudge) close your eyes and picture in your mind some one you love and say”

Peace and love be to those i love”

now picture some one you hate (my ex was in there and his mistress) and say:

“Peace and love be with those i do not love.”

now picture your self and this was the hard part for me and say:

“Peace and love be with me.”

and lastly picture the whole of the world and say:

“Peace and love be with the world”

at first when you do this it will be just words, but after a few weeks of doing it i could feel the love energy stir in my heart chakra and i truly was sending love to those i love, those i didnt love, myself, and the world.  after a while this simple meditations helped me enough to get me back on my feet. Eventually this and a few other meditations became daily regiments for me, that included calling the gods to stand by my side as i meditated.

Now looking back i realize love is the essences of life. With out that one single emotions all others dont exist. And love is never ever some thing one should squander. LOve freely, love well, love often and never regret having done so!

The Goddess always Answers

 

Dragonfly and Crow have been visiting me often.  Just the other day, as i drove down the road on 20th and Connecticut, an entire flock of dragonflies flew infront of my car. All of them of the black and white variety.  Before that i saw 2 solid black ones at my local Hearths Lammas ritual.  Today i have seen 3 of them.  Crow on the other hand keeps singing to  me. I’ll hear her horse voice outside my window or following behind me as i walk into work. A few times ive seen her strutting her stuff right in my field of vision, when seconds before she wasnt there.

The message? Times, they are a changin, my life has changed alot over the past 2 years. However, i have fallen back into some bad habits the biggest one being kidding my self. Not being fully honest with who and what i am.  So the Gods sent me their messangers, reminding me to come back too my self. I think also these where confirmations for me of a few things i suspected.

I suspected that Cailleach was my matron goddess, and in a later post i’ll explain in detail why, but the crow is one of her animals and i think this is Her way of saying,”yes, my child you are Mine.” i humbly accept her offer, though i know it entails walking a slightly darker path than most. I’m ok with that. the name she gave me does mean “beauty and Night” fitting.

However, there was more afoot than just that. I,for several year, had lost my path and i had feared i had lost my connection to the Gods because of that. This full moon was the first time i had had an Esbat in many years. Full moon rituals have always differed for me from other pagans. In the book The Stand, by Stephen King, the character Flag says some thing i find very true: “truth tellers just sorta…hunker down.” i find this true.  So for me full moon rites, beyond being a time for magic, is a time to hunker down with the Goddess.

So i did just that last week. i explained how i liked my new job, but if they didn’t offer me more hours and a more permanent position, i was going to have to leave. I also talked about my Partners father who has been stuck between the worlds in a coma for 3 months now while his body has been ravaged by illnesses. I asked if it was my path to lead him back as a hedgecrosser, and if it not be so to please make his crossing quick for the sake of his family.

To my shock the next day by job offered me more time and work and a secondary position. To my sadness my partners father has gone septic and form this moment has less that 12 hours to live. The Goddess always answers us. Though at times we wish the answer was different. But i am still grateful to know i have Her ear.

Hello world!

Salutations World,

My Name is WillwoStone. I am a wisewoman from the Foot Hills of the Ozark Mountains.  I am a 30 year old women, living with my Partner and personal Giant Thomas and our very spoiled kitty Mochi.

 

This blog will be my Chronicle of my spiritual journeies, adventures and misadventures. For the moment this is all that will be here. however i want you to check out these two blogs from two very gifted women whilst i think up my first awesome blog post:

 

http://witchofforestgrove.com/

http://partingthemists.wordpress.com/