Dragonfly and Crow have been visiting me often. Just the other day, as i drove down the road on 20th and Connecticut, an entire flock of dragonflies flew infront of my car. All of them of the black and white variety. Before that i saw 2 solid black ones at my local Hearths Lammas ritual. Today i have seen 3 of them. Crow on the other hand keeps singing to me. I’ll hear her horse voice outside my window or following behind me as i walk into work. A few times ive seen her strutting her stuff right in my field of vision, when seconds before she wasnt there.
The message? Times, they are a changin, my life has changed alot over the past 2 years. However, i have fallen back into some bad habits the biggest one being kidding my self. Not being fully honest with who and what i am. So the Gods sent me their messangers, reminding me to come back too my self. I think also these where confirmations for me of a few things i suspected.
I suspected that Cailleach was my matron goddess, and in a later post i’ll explain in detail why, but the crow is one of her animals and i think this is Her way of saying,”yes, my child you are Mine.” i humbly accept her offer, though i know it entails walking a slightly darker path than most. I’m ok with that. the name she gave me does mean “beauty and Night” fitting.
However, there was more afoot than just that. I,for several year, had lost my path and i had feared i had lost my connection to the Gods because of that. This full moon was the first time i had had an Esbat in many years. Full moon rituals have always differed for me from other pagans. In the book The Stand, by Stephen King, the character Flag says some thing i find very true: “truth tellers just sorta…hunker down.” i find this true. So for me full moon rites, beyond being a time for magic, is a time to hunker down with the Goddess.
So i did just that last week. i explained how i liked my new job, but if they didn’t offer me more hours and a more permanent position, i was going to have to leave. I also talked about my Partners father who has been stuck between the worlds in a coma for 3 months now while his body has been ravaged by illnesses. I asked if it was my path to lead him back as a hedgecrosser, and if it not be so to please make his crossing quick for the sake of his family.
To my shock the next day by job offered me more time and work and a secondary position. To my sadness my partners father has gone septic and form this moment has less that 12 hours to live. The Goddess always answers us. Though at times we wish the answer was different. But i am still grateful to know i have Her ear.