The Owlwoman and The Bee Priestess: Journ

The Owlwoman And the bee priestess:

journeys on the low road

It has been months upon months since last I posted here. Dear reader, I am so very sorry for my neglect. However, my journeys upon the low road have not halted with my posts. In the past few months I have been working with the Owlwoman, an archetype from mythology all over the world. I first met this face of the Goddess when studing the book “Ladies of the Lake” I met, again, Ragnell a women from Arthurian myth. One of her statements too Arthur at one time was “Even an owl deserves a mate.” upon meditation I found a very real connection with this Goddess. To keep it simple, instead of using all of her names (Ragnell Blowediwen,Hecate,Ceridwen) I simply call her the Owlwoman.

In the past the owl had been a totem of mine. She sang too me and calmed me when my exhusband left when I was all alone. She called me back too my path. But until now I hadnt really worked directly with her. But as this Goddess spoke too me I spoke to Owl. And too my glee, she spoke back.

One quiet night, as everyone else was out and about, I cast a circle and asked Owl if she wished too be my totem…. what did she wish to teach me…was I going in the right direction? Later that week, as I drove home after a long exhausting day at work, I had an owl flight infront of me frm east to west….not a block later an owl flew infront of me from west to east…. it was no mistaking that it was an owl…she flew not 2 feet from my wind sheild!I take that as a yes, as a sign that im encircled in Owl’s energy….i am an owlwoman….

Not long after this I started to research beekeeping. This is something I have always been interested in. When I was younger I had a boyfriend, whos grandfather kept bees. I remember staanding in the cloud of bees as they flew around me. Not even a little frightened. A day or so later a sister in my hearth posted a video about a beekeeper musician/bee priestess. My heart lept in my chest! Bee priestess…some thing was familiar…real…old….i have since researched the topic and I will continue to do so. I claim the term and wear it symbolically as a healer…and will some day be a bee keeper….

in this line I have also been working with my hearth to be inducted as a sister. To that end one assign a task…make prayer beads or affirmation beads ect…In a moment of meditation this poem came too me:

“I follow the path of the Bee Priestess

and the Owl Woman.

The healer and the seer.

Do not try to hide your self

from me.

For I see you even

when you don’t see your self.

Lay your wounds out

to me and I shall heal them.

I fly the night skies

nothing misses my gaze.

The winds call my name

My Goddess urges me on.

Be healed, Heal other.

Golden healing and

smokey wind.

I am the Bee Priestess

I am the Owlwoman.

Too that end I made these prayer beads… made in the Avalonian tradition and using my own totems and faces of the Goddess:

There are nine beads, a number sacred to Avalon and the goddess, the terra cota beads have Ogham rune on it spelling out:

Now that is “I am the Owlwoman I am the bee priestess, I am the seer I am the healer” I translated it to welsh then ogham from there.

 

The first bead, or thefocal bead, is the seal on the chalice well. With this bead I can focus on my intent for use of the beads that day then move on from there. The beads are strung on hand spun yarn (spun by yours truly) and is designed with a loop on one end so I can wear them as a necklace if I choose.

I hope for these beads to be a wonderful tool for self growth and spiritual awakening. I hope you enjoyed my first post in a very long time 🙂

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Mabon:A walk on the first day of fall

Today marks the first day of Autumn, my favorite season. I love every thing about it, even the dreary, grey, rainy days. Today, day and night will be equals. To my pagan mind, today the God and Goddess stand together at the crossroads of life and death. I honor the Harvest God for his sacrifice and the Great Mother for all the bounty her body has brought forth. And finally i take a step back and take stock of my personal harvests this year.

It’s been a bitter sweet year for me. As many of you out there have heard my home town was devastated by an EF5 tornado that ripped through the center of town. I am thankful that i was not harmed in the storm, nor where those i love. However, the devastation caused me to go jobless for a very long time. On top of that my Partners father had a massive stroke and fell into a come not 9 days prior too the storm. Many more things have happened and are happening so this year it was hard for me to view the world with the wisewoman eyes i know the Goddess has gifted me with.

To that end i went for a walk today. my little apartment does not have the space for rituals, hell it doesnt have the space for most any thing. So i went out got my self a pumpkin spice latte and headed too my local wooded park.The weather is perfect here today a nice 70ish degrees with a cool breeze. So i found a good entry point.Distantly i could hear Ravens calling to each other and i instinctively moved towards the sound. The forest isnt thick but it is almost a straight down drop, for anyone who didnt grow up running around in the Ozark woods it wouldnt be a fun walk.

For me it was like being a kid again, i could almost hear my dads voice, “ok now put your foot their and braise your self on that tree…good job!” Slowly steadily i made my way half way down the hill and found a good comfy spot under a twin trunked oak tree, with a clear view of the creek. On my way down i could feel the forest aware of me, wondering if i had brought anyone else with me. If i was here for magic again (i found my stang in this forest in April)

I sat on the ground and anounced why i was here, it was Mabon and i had come to say my thanks and to reconnect with the Earth and her children. Above me the oak tree dropped 3 acorns, big fat ones, just a few feet infront of me. I took this as a welcoming sign so i settled in. Just then a doe made a noise about 100 yards away from me i turned just in time to watch her bound away from me into the woods. As i looked back too the creek a pair of cranes flew down stream, as the Raven started a call and answer game off in the distance.

As i sat there i wrote this poem, it is about my life as a woman my spiral:

I Am The Spiral

I spiral out

I spiral within

I remember, I rejoice

I am the woven

I am the wreaver

I remember long nights

Long trips sleeping in our car

I am the spiral

I spiral out

I grow, I change

I remember being the odd child

Knowing,seeing what others did not

I am the spiral

Spiraling out

I grow, I evolve

I remember the abuse

It made me strong

I will survive

I am the spiral

I am the spinner

I grow, I evolve

I remember the asault

The unwanted touch

A virgin now!

No man shall own me!

I am the spiral

I am the spinner

I am the weaver

I am the woven.

And some day

my sprial shall be more

than my form may contain

I shall spiral into the cosmos

Into the cauldron

Back too the Mother

Back too the Roving.

I finished the poem, read it aloud a story of my life. Both good and bad. Strength gained from adversity. As i finished the poem the wind picked up and i felt a weight lift off my shoulders.

  I decided to get up and explore a bit more below me i picked up the three acorns and the thought occurred to me to use them in a small impromptu ritual. I went too the creeks edge and named each acorn some thing i was thankful for and one things i was laying to rest and i tossed each one into the creek. Each one with a *Kurplunk* and then a few seconds later a large fish breeched the surface and dipped down.

  With that i turned to my right and began to explore further down the creek edge between the worlds of forest and water. I walked a half mile or so i would guess when suddenly i felt some thing softly touch the skin on my face, like a spidar web, yet there was no place for a spider to make a web where i stood. Looking around for one, i looked down and at my feet was the mostly decomposed body of a fox! Now before you go “eeewww” please bare in mind that magic didnt use to be so sanitary. Magic was visceral and dirty. So using a skull, half decomposed or no, is normal.

  Now why would a fox interest me? why that animal? let me tell you about a dream i had a few years back. Mind you i have dreams of this nature off and no. I call it the Divine Hotline dreams.

  In my dream i am driving down the road its your average long straight highway, the person infront of my stops in the middle of the road….they just set there, so i finally get out to ask them whats up when i see whats wrong. The road stops! just gone and where it should be is a big open field of golden,ready to harvest, rice.Instead of being shocked, i was more like pleasantly surprised. I decided to investigate and in the center of the field i found a small red resin Quan Yin statue and a hand found red book. When i lean down and pick up the book and statue they disappear and i find my self at the foot of a black and red japanese style temple and i was standing at the foot of a long stair case leading up too the temple.

 Finding no other idea coming to mind, i start up the stairs taking note of my enviroment as i go. When i reach the top there is a small thin elderly japanese man with an odd hat on smiling at me.  He bows, so i bow and ask him,

“Where did the road go?”

He smiles even bigger at me with a sparkle in his dark eyes and says,”All roads lead here.” in a matter of fact sort of way, as if i should know that.

From there he procceded to show me around his temple. there where bags of rice here and a statue of a fox there ect.. Finally just before i woke he told me to read the 22 chapter of the Dao De Ching. when i did it said this:

Chapter 22

Yield and remain whole
Bend and remain straight
Be low and become filled
Be worn out and become renewed
Have little and receive
Have much and be confused
Therefore the sages hold to the one as an example for the world
Without flaunting themselves – and so are seen clearly
Without presuming themselves – and so are distinguished
Without praising themselves – and so have merit
Without boasting about themselves – and so are lasting

Because they do not contend, the world cannot contend with them
What the ancients called “the one who yields and remains whole”
Were they speaking empty words?
Sincerity becoming whole, and returning to oneself

Later i kept seeing foxes when i was out and about. I had never seen them before,but it made me wonder. So i looked into a japanese god who had a red and black temple and associations with rice and foxes…to my dismay there was such a god! his name is O’Inari. His messenger is the Kitsune a 2 too 9 tailed fox.

and this was his temple. its physical location is Kyoto japan.

Later, to confirm my idea i had a dream i was visiting a japanese garden, and in side was a small altar too Inari,under my breath i said “Un-airie” which was how i thought his name was pronounced to my shock a handsome young japanese man appeared behind me and said, “you’re saying it wrong my dear, is Enaree.” he smiled and i woke up. I later confirmed it via the web that that was the proper pronunciation.

So, the fox is my totem i believe, when looking into the fox medicine information it seems to fit. My totems have changed and been added too over the years. And i welcome this addition so i plan to turn the fox skull into a fetish once i have allowed the rest of the skin and meat to rot away.

I thanked the forest and the fox’s spirit, but did not take the skull yet. i won’t until tomorrow when i have an offering to leave. From there i turned into the forest and called upon the Horned Hunter by word and sign. I asked that he be with me as we moved through the darkness and thanked him for calling me to his service.

Now, im home and plan to back some apple scones and pumpkin bread… i had taken several pictures but now my darn phone won’t let me upload then *sigh* i guess the things i saw were for my eyes only.

I hope everyone elses Mabon was as good as mine!

The Road To Avalon

I mentioned in my first post, as well as my bio, that i study the Avalonian Tradition . I have studied this path off and on for many years, since about 1997 or so i think. At that time i was following the doings of a group called the Sisterhood Of Avalon . At this time they were just a single page with a message board. I eventually joined their group, but did not find it to my liking.

Now before i continue on my story, let me clear up a few things: 1. i do not necessarily think Avalon was like in the book Mists of Avalon, 2. i firmly believe in doing proper historical research, 3. i am not into role playing … just had to add that one… also this is about my journey and is in no way shape or form as scholarly as it can get for that kinda thing visit Parting The Mists a hearth sisters blog.

Too my mind, it is entirely possible that the Isle of Glastonbury housed a priestess cloister of some kind. These women, and similar groups, were described in several texts both historical and semi-fictional. How i choose to practice this path is with a heavy does of celtic reconstructionalism in mind. However, i view this as a new and vibrant path so i also add bits of modern celticism,dianic wicca,and modern shamanism.

But until recently i had dropped this path completely. I was disillusion with the previous group i had been involved in and wasn’t even aware til a few years ago, that there were other Avalonian groups out there! A few months back a local Avalonian Hearth invited me to join them. I have since found a wonderful group of inspired women, who are a nurturing force in my life. Right now i am studying with them as a seeker.

This january i hope to start in the path to become inducted as a sister. To this end i have ordered my self a Chalice Well seal necklace that i am going to fashion into, what im calling, my maiden necklace. im going to use moonstones and white beads on it and hope to make an official “Here’s what im doing Mother” ceremony some time after Samhain or on samhain.

Now i am still a primitive witch…or conjurewoman. I view my self as the tribal priestess who was trained in Avalon then returned to her village to tend to the peoples spiritual needs. Upon reaching Sister statues next samhain i hope to get my self a silver chalice well pendant and from it im going to fashion my mother necklace from garnets and red beads.  If i should ever mentor another seeker/sister i will pass my maiden necklace on to her.

These are personal amulets, or totems to help me remember my path and remember my goals. To help align my self with the energies of Avalon

A New Home For The Conjurewoman

Well, as of the first week of October my self and my partner will be moving into a new home. This is some thing we are both ever so glad for since the apartment we have been in is well, a hell hole. We actually plan on tipping off the city and state housing inspectors about the property once we move. So for a while now we have been looking for a new home, when this one just sort of fell in our laps (Thank You Mother and Lord Hunter for pushing us in the right direction!)

This will mark my 140th move into a new home. I grew up practically as a gypsy. Something my mother to this day jokes about. My grandmother use to say , “Girl, i aughten’ud let those damn gypsy sprinkle that dirt yur shoe heels.”

As an adult witch though, i have learned there is a process to moving and having a happy home once one has done so. So now i make my check list: Greet spirits of the land (already done so), bring offering of honey,wine,and corn meal. Make the home clean and free of previous negative interactions, Bless the home and ask the blessings of the Might Dead upon our new home. Movie in, then ward like hell.

My partner and i will also be living with my some-day-to-be-mother-in-law. So i plan on warding the house against drama (from her ex) and my Partners lovely family and friends. An Anti-drama/gossip spell will the placed on the home as well as a general good luck and protection ward.

Im very much looking forward to moving. This home has a wood stove in both the house and garage. I’m looking forward to seeing what the Fates choose to show me in those flames late at night, when everyone else sleeps. The property also has several large old Oak trees, dear sisters of the branch and bud, i look forward to getting to know them.

It also has several large, already prepared, flower beds. I can’t wait to grow some herbs and veggies next season. I look forward to several seasons in this new home, several moons, speaking with the ancestors, and getting to know the land there better.

The Second Sight: Not What You Think

At this time of the Dark Moon, traditionally a time of inner magic, i would like to talk about the second sight.  I grew up in a gifted family. All the women on my mother’s side have the Sight. My mom often spoke of seeing spirits as if they were right there infront of her. My grandmother was often consulted for good “advice”. For many years i thought, perhaps, there was some thing wrong with my Sight, because i didn’t see things as if they were right there in front of me.

My anxiety became worse as i read books about the occult, wicca, witchcraft and the like. These authors wrote as if they saw things with their very eyes! In a literal fashion. Me, i saw things… best as i can describe it, behind my eyes. It really feels as though i am seeing with the backside of my eyes.  As the years passed, however, i began to realize that, no matter how i was seeing, what i was seeing was real. My first real experiance with the Sight, and witchcraft as a matter of fact, came when i was about 7 or 8 years old.

My family moved in with my Aunt and Uncle in a 200 year old mansion in Grand Rapids Michigan.  The plan was for my dad to swoop in for the save in my Uncles failing company. My Aunt had a penchant for hopeless old homes. Now i don’t blame her i love older homes, but this one was practically unsaveable for some one of our means.  The first time we walked through it, i knew some thing was…off. I had been instructed by my mother how to handle unwanted spiritual entities. Don’t fear them and you give them no power, but at 7 years old, thats kinda hard to do.

The house its self was dilapidated to the point of almost falling in in some areas. There was a whole in the roof big enough to drop an elephant through. Half the walls were cracked like the house of Usher, and the coal heaters  hadn’t worked in almost a century.  As my mom and i walked through, one of the first things i saw was a poppet half burned in the fireplace. (i was young but not stupid i knew a “voodoo doll” when i saw one) at 7, yea that creeped me out!

Later, in the attic we found a witches ladder, and the most frightening thing was the, as ive dubbed it, “coven room” in the basement. In this room there were shackles on the walls (real ones folks) blood on the floors and a whole pile of bones in the fire place. On one walls was a Baphomet poster and in the center of the room a large cauldron. Now with the knowledge i have now, i would have swipped these items for my own, but at 7 my Sight was going nuts. I could feel that these people hadn’t known half of what they thought they did.

They opened some thing and never closed it. I saw shadow people in this place all the time. I would hear laughter and crying in various rooms. I had a man whisper in my ear and would smell food cooking when there was none. This place was my Sight baptism by fire.  I also think it was in this place that i first began to feel a kinship with witchcraft.

But my anxiety was not over, after a few years of practicing wicca i began to be drawn to hedgewitchery. I wanted to learn to cross the hedge or the barrier between our world and the various spiritual realms. As i read books on the topic, and some websites, people spoke as if they were almost physically interacting with other wordly beings. When i tried to cross i found that it was very much like lucid dreaming for me. i was still somewhat aware of the world around me physically, but was also aware of a world within me.

I was constantly frustrated because i felt i wasnt fully immersing in the journey. I felt like i was failing some how. Until i started to actually speak with other real hedge witches. All bullshit aside, most shamans will tell you you will, for the most part, remain aware of the world around you. Though, as i had, you will fell almost drugged like you are aware of your body but not fully able to effect it. you’ll know you are crossed when things and people react in a manner you know you would not have thought of.

I also want to confirm for some out there, that those weird moments, when something pops in your head for seemingly no reason then boom it comes true. Yeah, that is the Sight. For instance, i once had an image of my ex husbands face pop in my head with an angery look and he was walking away from me. A few days later he was walking out my door to go see his mistress with that look on his face because we had had a fight. Trust those flashes and you will have them more and more often the more you trust them.

So in short this post is to help those who are shacky on the whole Sight things. You aren’t alone, just trust your guts and you’ll be on the right track.

When Love Is Forgotten

Love has been on my mind as of late.  It reaches back to my previous post about not tricking our selves into thinking we are some one we aren’t. For a time love was scares for me. I was taught as a child love was some thing given to very few people in ones lives. Like it was a rare commodity that only so much of could be produced by any one person. I lived my life like that, yet part of me knew, instinctively, it was wrong. I can remember writing a paper for my lit. class about “Passionate Compassion”.

Many years later i read Healing Wise By Susun Weed and in there she talked about how love for others was an over flow, or surplus of love that one felt for them self. I never was able, at such a young and akward age, to grasp the idea. Years later, in a failing marraige and a life i hated, my heart went cold. It felt like a lump of wet coal in my chest.  And when my husband left the wet coal imploded and created a black whole. I felt nothing, one would be amazed but in truth love is the progenitor of all other emotions.  If you loose love, you loose likes, dislikes,anger,happiness even contentment.

It was at this point in my life, not 2 years ago, that i rejoined the Gods on my road of life. I looked at my self in the mirror one day and for all my solidness i seemed hollow. Empty,almost translucent. So i chose to look into meditations and self-esteem tools. One of them i found was a very simple buddhist meditations. It goes like this:

Set quietly in a nice locations (i sat infront of a primitive alter with one tiny kwan yin statue a horned one statue and a few candles and sage smudge) close your eyes and picture in your mind some one you love and say”

Peace and love be to those i love”

now picture some one you hate (my ex was in there and his mistress) and say:

“Peace and love be with those i do not love.”

now picture your self and this was the hard part for me and say:

“Peace and love be with me.”

and lastly picture the whole of the world and say:

“Peace and love be with the world”

at first when you do this it will be just words, but after a few weeks of doing it i could feel the love energy stir in my heart chakra and i truly was sending love to those i love, those i didnt love, myself, and the world.  after a while this simple meditations helped me enough to get me back on my feet. Eventually this and a few other meditations became daily regiments for me, that included calling the gods to stand by my side as i meditated.

Now looking back i realize love is the essences of life. With out that one single emotions all others dont exist. And love is never ever some thing one should squander. LOve freely, love well, love often and never regret having done so!

The Goddess always Answers

 

Dragonfly and Crow have been visiting me often.  Just the other day, as i drove down the road on 20th and Connecticut, an entire flock of dragonflies flew infront of my car. All of them of the black and white variety.  Before that i saw 2 solid black ones at my local Hearths Lammas ritual.  Today i have seen 3 of them.  Crow on the other hand keeps singing to  me. I’ll hear her horse voice outside my window or following behind me as i walk into work. A few times ive seen her strutting her stuff right in my field of vision, when seconds before she wasnt there.

The message? Times, they are a changin, my life has changed alot over the past 2 years. However, i have fallen back into some bad habits the biggest one being kidding my self. Not being fully honest with who and what i am.  So the Gods sent me their messangers, reminding me to come back too my self. I think also these where confirmations for me of a few things i suspected.

I suspected that Cailleach was my matron goddess, and in a later post i’ll explain in detail why, but the crow is one of her animals and i think this is Her way of saying,”yes, my child you are Mine.” i humbly accept her offer, though i know it entails walking a slightly darker path than most. I’m ok with that. the name she gave me does mean “beauty and Night” fitting.

However, there was more afoot than just that. I,for several year, had lost my path and i had feared i had lost my connection to the Gods because of that. This full moon was the first time i had had an Esbat in many years. Full moon rituals have always differed for me from other pagans. In the book The Stand, by Stephen King, the character Flag says some thing i find very true: “truth tellers just sorta…hunker down.” i find this true.  So for me full moon rites, beyond being a time for magic, is a time to hunker down with the Goddess.

So i did just that last week. i explained how i liked my new job, but if they didn’t offer me more hours and a more permanent position, i was going to have to leave. I also talked about my Partners father who has been stuck between the worlds in a coma for 3 months now while his body has been ravaged by illnesses. I asked if it was my path to lead him back as a hedgecrosser, and if it not be so to please make his crossing quick for the sake of his family.

To my shock the next day by job offered me more time and work and a secondary position. To my sadness my partners father has gone septic and form this moment has less that 12 hours to live. The Goddess always answers us. Though at times we wish the answer was different. But i am still grateful to know i have Her ear.

Hello world!

Salutations World,

My Name is WillwoStone. I am a wisewoman from the Foot Hills of the Ozark Mountains.  I am a 30 year old women, living with my Partner and personal Giant Thomas and our very spoiled kitty Mochi.

 

This blog will be my Chronicle of my spiritual journeies, adventures and misadventures. For the moment this is all that will be here. however i want you to check out these two blogs from two very gifted women whilst i think up my first awesome blog post:

 

http://witchofforestgrove.com/

http://partingthemists.wordpress.com/