In The Dark, He Waits

In my last post i mentioned having had direct contact with the Horned Hunter. I thought it might interest you, dear reader, if i told you my story.  Firstly, i have had an attraction too the Horned One for many years. All that wild untamed primal energy, that deep guttural need to run at break-neck speeds through the forest. Never sure if you are the hunted or the hunter. Deep forests covered in fern and moss, where you know a Primal Force resides both hunting you and being hunted by you….

 

My first contact,direct contact at least, came about two years ago. It was in a dream. In my dream i was called in to remove the workings of another witch on a few objects. I did so in the dream and was paid for my efforts, on my walk home, under an old oak tree, i see on the group two pendants. One is of the greenman and one is of the Horned Hunter. I looked at them both but only felt drawn to the Horned one so i picked it up and put it in my pocket quiet happy with my find.  Several minutes later, now at home, i pull the pendant from my pocket and find it has become a sort of leather talisman with an elaborate image of the Horned Hunter on it!

 

From there on i felt i had been chosen, i was given a choice between two aspects of Him and i had chosen, or been chosen, my the Horned Hunter. Now mind you i wasn’t positive, how can one be at first really, but i figured if it was so further information or contact would be made. I wasn’t wrong either, a few weeks later i was in the woods just climbing about, as i tend to do when not heavy with a baby,and i felt pulled in a specific direction. It was northways if i remember correctly. I ended up sliding down the side of an ozark hill, almost right off into a creek. But when i got down there i looked to my right and saw a deer staring at me.

 

I held my breath hoping it wouldn’t run, eventually it did walk away calmly and when i headed in that direction, at my feet was a stang…just laying there ready for me to clean it up and make use of it. A Stang is a forked staff used in some forms of witchcraft to represent, well several things, but primarily the Horned God or the Witchmaster. I’ve been looking for a good one for nigh on 10 years. She, don’t ask me why but it is a she, has since been my constant companion. With that i well and firmly felt His presents in my life.

 

Now too my story proper! My i’m long winded today! I won’t revel too much about the induction into my hearth, luckily this event takes place before hand. It was a cold night in early November and i, with my fellow inductees, stood waiting for our ritual to begin sequestered off in a small area just at the edges of a forest and a creek. Between and Betwixed so to speak. I already knew that this was an in between place where we stood, though i doubt that is why the area was chosen.  I stood staring off into the stars for several moments just enjoying the night air,stang in hand. Suddenly i felt i was being watched and pulled into the woods before me.

 

When i looked down i saw…something…a shadow darker than the rest of the woods. Then it moved, and i could see Him is massive horns swayed on his head as he stood up from a crouched position. I felt the urge to both run towards him and run from him in fear and just shear overwhelming power. I could feel him look at me even though he was only in silloet. I looked to the women at my right and left and they obviously saw nothing. But He was still there when i looked back and there he remained for several minutes until we were called back for our ritual to begin.

 

Seeing Him that night, with my own eyes, has left an impression on me like no other. I have felt Divine Forces before, but none like this. I saw him yet again at our ritual retreat the following spring….same location…and again only i saw Him. Perhaps im mad…or perhaps its just me He wishes to see Him….

 

 

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Like Phases of the Moon Are We

Its at this time of year i often loose my self in in inner work and personal….spiritual work…I want to say evolution, but i think that is more hopful termenology that realistic. Its in the fall,the winter,the dark that i journey within and try my best to, yet again, to root out my personal spirit shards…and try to assimilate them into the whole.

 

I’ve done this for a great many years, and its only now in my 31st year of life that i feel i am making any sort of progress. I sat watching a movie tonight with my family,so to speak, my mate and a very close shaman friend of ours, and a thought popped into my head:

It is only after we have learned to Love who we Are, that we can learn to love who we Will be and who we Have been.

We are changing beings, who we have been is not who we are now nor is it who we will be in the future. Its not so much as be evolve as we change. we are ever the same being, but in different stages of thought,progress,and growth. like phases of the moon we are ever our selves and ever changing. we wax into our selves we see the far off Mysteries as if they stand right before us and then we wane into our selves and the mysteries become of less importance… and yet…then we flip we spiral back on our selves…like the carvings upon a monolith…we wax again into full life and the mysteries almost disappear…then we wane and the mysteries are all thats important…all that’s left to attain in a world all about physical manifestations.

 

its at this time of year i stop…look within the cauldron of life and ask;”Who am i?” because really thats the question that leads too all the others…that is the root question. who are you…who are you really beyond what your family taught you, beyond what society taught you, who are you in the depths of your authentic primal self?

 

Spirit,Owl,Bee they have been talking and trying to help me find that primal self..the first self…but some times its scary to look. Do we take the red thread handed too you upon the breeze..leave normal society behind live by our own rules and possibly be labeled a nutcase…or do we turn it away and remain “normal” accepted and “safe”? do we open our selves to the Divine insanity…or maintain what little sanity we have?

 

ecstasy or sanity…to some it would be a simple choice, in either direction! but to me its not. do i fit in, even in my own odd nitch, or accept that i can’t that im not meant to, and take the shamans road…that is what i will be working on in this dark season…find my skeletons befriend them then ask their advise…